Joy Smith's Blog

Advises mothers on ways to handle the issues and emotions common to planning a traditional wedding

"Finally, a book for those neglected by all those traditional wedding manuals: the parents! Joy Smith not only serves up tons of practical advice, but does so in a way that will entertain as well as inform. A must read for anyone with a child who is about to tie the knot."
...Toni Andrews, Bestselling Author of the Mercy Series

"Whether you're the mother of the bride or the mother of the groom, Oh, No, They're Engaged! is indispensable. Joy Smith will guide you with warmth and humor every step of the way from the engagement announcement to the wedding reception and beyond. Not just another wedding planning guide, Oh, No, They're Engaged! combines solid practical advice with a deep understanding of the emotional ups and downs you, as a parent, will experience while preparing for and participating in your child's wedding. Don't miss this one, Mom."
....Susannah Hardy, Stories about life, love, and the pursuit of happily ever after

Oh, No, They're Engaged!

With your wisdom and guidance, you and your couple will:

• Have the wedding they want
• Accept change
• Understand issues
• Avoid problems
• Control expenses
• Stay organized
• Manage the guest list
• Evaluate vendors
• Look great

EXCERPT...

Chapter 1
A Proposal’s on the Table

I'll never forget the evening our son, Rick, came home, hiding a smile. He reached into his pocket, drew out a small, blue velvet box, and opened it to reveal a diamond so new and shiny it made me squint. I was so thrilled for him that I did what any decent mother would do. I gave him a bear hug and cried, and then I tried on the ring.

Because a son is the ring giver, you, as a parent, are apt to be more involved in the proposal process, especially if he is still living at home. Getting married is a financial decision as well as an emotional one. My husband and I listened while our son anguished over what to do. Was this the right time for him, and where would he buy a ring he could afford?

With daughters, you are on the receiving end waiting for that moment when the guy she’s either been living with or dating for some time coughs up a commitment. It’s nice if a guy asks permission to marry your daughter, but this is not always the case. Don’t expect. Just accept and enjoy. Your young couple may come bubbling through the door to announce their happiness and flaunt a ring; or, you and your spouse may learn of the pending engagement in advance and be saddled with keeping the secret.

One weeknight, John showed up at our house in Connecticut around dinnertime. My husband and I peered out the window, not understanding what he was doing here while our daughter, Mary, was in Boston. He made us feel special by asking our permission to marry her--we didn’t get to see the ring (shucks). I fed John our son’s steak dinner (Rick had to settle for leftovers). Two years later, when daughter number two’s long-time boyfriend roared up our driveway in the same manner, my husband and I hi-fived. I snagged an extra pork chop from the freezer and nuked another potato. In both instances, my husband and I were sworn to secrecy until our future son in-laws could properly present the rings to our daughters. Secrets, particularly happy ones, are hard to keep.